Friday, May 6, 2011

What's all this talk about Twitter? ... Oh. Never Mind

Since many of the people who read my blog (Mom) are not on twitter, I thought I would cut and paste a bunch of my tweets for all of you (Mom) to get a feel for what this social media twitter thing is that all the kids have been talking about. (And by kids, I mean--for example--all those wacky Egyptian revolutionaries or those crazy jokesters who broke that Bin Laden tidbit a few days ago before any of the networks could say, we interrupt this episode of The Apprentice ...)
Please note, when words are preceded by this # it's sort of a symbol for a clever joke or sarcasm.
Now then, shall we?

I'd be remiss if I didn't admit that I enjoyed Lady Di's wedding. I'd be remiss if I didn't admit I just googled 'remiss, definition of'
Lucky 2 catch @RaeMeadows read novel MOTHERS&DAUGHTERS-Then I devoured 1st chapter over wonton soup #Gr8Nite @ElisabethWeed @Darinstrauss
Today I scootered w/ my girls to the orthodontist, yogurt shop & library. Yeah. I was that mom.
I give great bread #PassoverPorn
Talking to my girls about how much i love them Kid1-Some people don't even HAVE a mom or dad Kid2-Yeah, some people just hv a mom & a donor
Just heard vaguely upsetting news & now I'm trying to decide if I want to talk to a real friend, twitter or my mother.
HARD NIPPLES is what I used to call my Bubby! It's like her ghost is communicating via twitter trends-Which is totally NOT plausible. Right?
I need a vacation. That, or 25 people coming for Passover on Monday. #SayWhat? #Seder
I just deposited the last of my 'Advance' for HENNY ON THE COUCH Wonder if I'll ever feel as proud of the $ as I do of my agent's masthead
Loved Sheri Holman WITCHES on the ROAD Tea Obreht TIGERSWIFE RulaJebreal MIRAL& @AlisonEspach THE ADULTS last nite @KGBbar @Behind_the_Book
PaySuck, repeat #PassoverPorn
Hard(matzo)Balls #PassoverPorn
The theoretical--invite 25 people for Passover Seder--got real today. Excited.
The lost 14 yr old boy in NYC was found alive (but shaken) I don't know any other details

It's hard to plan a Seder while reading Good Squad every spare minute. Fuck the brisket. (At least that's what my Bubby always used to say.)
To fix a terrible haircut I went too short. Husband said he liked&then asked if I did. I told him I respected it He walked away laughing.
@KateAurthur That Rob Lowe cover grosses me out. An example of bad-naked, albeit an idealized male form. I prefer imperfection.
@syntactics spoiler alert-but my favorite life of Pi sentence (in the context of all the other sentences) ... The ship sank.
@fuggirls Oh dear God, Please *please* let's not diss THAT WOMAN. Donna Tripp-yes. ML, no
Twitter has taught me this: mothers who are famous cherish each moment with their delightful children. I'm happy for them.
i explained to kids why tgiFridays in an airport is fine- In union square-hells no
I release the filth of these sidewalks-dogshit/vomit/piss/butts/goobers &litter in favor of the heaven that is this William Fitzsommons song
My teen son has a mannish body. I paused uncertain what to add ... ... And now I'm weeping.
It's like I'm in a twilight zone. Just misread a massive billboard for vitamin water. Thought 'revive' was REWRITE
Is it me, or do #TheFooFighters sound like Rush?
RLSoo Rebecca Land Soodak
I think it's best for all involved if I wear my comfy jeans
Gonna shake things up this Passover & hide the QADAFFI-KOMMEN ... & when the kids try to sell it back we'll gang-rape em @SarahKSilverman
If one pays 100$/ticket 4 UNTREATED bipolar/addict/woman-abusing/unmedicated/narcissist-h/she might b part of the problem @Justin_Stangel
I just read NYT article on Cathie Black chancellor ousting-I can't BELIEVE they didnt mention her YouTube Friday vid. Fucking dinosaurs.
The Unbearable Lengthiness of Being in the Movie Theater#unnecessarysequels
A Tale of Two Sex in the Cities #unnecessarysequels
The Pursuit of Happy Gilmore #unnecessarysequels
Im pretty sure Epsom salt was my Bubby's aphrodisiac (And now I feel a sense of unresolved loss tinged with nausea.)
@Sirenland @mcnallyjackson Like a wise, aging caterpillar keeping his nose company. Nice, in these uncertain times.
Ass-Over #PassoverPorn &/or #sheenshow
Skank Bone #PassoverPorn
The laying of the first-born son #PassoverPorn
Bitter Whores #PassoverPorn
Next Year In ... Jerlissa #PassoverPorn

The Parting of Her Red C #PassoverPorn
My Burning Bush #PassoverPorn
I'm concerned there might be a gefilte-fish smack-down involving my mother & Aunt. I'm not gonna lie-I'm frightened. #Passover

Wait, did CathieBlack get canned because of that Friday song?
Damn-I hate being wrong.
I would really like to see Sheldon and Blossom do the nah-nah. Like on one of those adult channels. #TheBiggestBang#CantTakeItMuchLonger
I am dubious that these brownies will do much for Japan, but I'm a team player.
Two Independent bookstores on UES are out of Bossypants and admit to only buying a few copies. This reflects a disconnect, I think.
@GCPeditor @mitch_hoffman @grandcentralpub Good. Because ALL editors need and deserve an assistant! (Seriously)
@bnreviewer Yeah, that's 2012.
@bnreviewer Mine's coming! Henny On the Couch-Spring 2013 GrandCentral It's Bright LightsBig City from an UES feminist/artist's persp. kinda
the norm for acceptable table switching varies In LA-once, maybe-and only if you have a penis. In NYC? Who gives a shit?
After sitting a table away from Duchovny I'm left w/ this: our not fucking might be due to more than proximity. Possibly.


  1. oh my god, your tweet about Duchovny had me rolling!

  2. Okay, this is awesome, but it will be even better this year when you do it with screen shots.

    You know what screen shots are, right?

    #PassoverPorn is hilarious.