Friday, May 6, 2011

What's all this talk about Twitter? ... Oh. Never Mind

Since many of the people who read my blog (Mom) are not on twitter, I thought I would cut and paste a bunch of my tweets for all of you (Mom) to get a feel for what this social media twitter thing is that all the kids have been talking about. (And by kids, I mean--for example--all those wacky Egyptian revolutionaries or those crazy jokesters who broke that Bin Laden tidbit a few days ago before any of the networks could say, we interrupt this episode of The Apprentice ...)
Please note, when words are preceded by this # it's sort of a symbol for a clever joke or sarcasm.
Now then, shall we?

I'd be remiss if I didn't admit that I enjoyed Lady Di's wedding. I'd be remiss if I didn't admit I just googled 'remiss, definition of'
Lucky 2 catch @RaeMeadows read novel MOTHERS&DAUGHTERS-Then I devoured 1st chapter over wonton soup #Gr8Nite @ElisabethWeed @Darinstrauss
Today I scootered w/ my girls to the orthodontist, yogurt shop & library. Yeah. I was that mom.
I give great bread #PassoverPorn
Talking to my girls about how much i love them Kid1-Some people don't even HAVE a mom or dad Kid2-Yeah, some people just hv a mom & a donor
Just heard vaguely upsetting news & now I'm trying to decide if I want to talk to a real friend, twitter or my mother.
HARD NIPPLES is what I used to call my Bubby! It's like her ghost is communicating via twitter trends-Which is totally NOT plausible. Right?
I need a vacation. That, or 25 people coming for Passover on Monday. #SayWhat? #Seder
I just deposited the last of my 'Advance' for HENNY ON THE COUCH Wonder if I'll ever feel as proud of the $ as I do of my agent's masthead
Loved Sheri Holman WITCHES on the ROAD Tea Obreht TIGERSWIFE RulaJebreal MIRAL& @AlisonEspach THE ADULTS last nite @KGBbar @Behind_the_Book
PaySuck, repeat #PassoverPorn
Hard(matzo)Balls #PassoverPorn
The theoretical--invite 25 people for Passover Seder--got real today. Excited.
The lost 14 yr old boy in NYC was found alive (but shaken) I don't know any other details

It's hard to plan a Seder while reading Good Squad every spare minute. Fuck the brisket. (At least that's what my Bubby always used to say.)
To fix a terrible haircut I went too short. Husband said he liked&then asked if I did. I told him I respected it He walked away laughing.
@KateAurthur That Rob Lowe cover grosses me out. An example of bad-naked, albeit an idealized male form. I prefer imperfection.
@syntactics spoiler alert-but my favorite life of Pi sentence (in the context of all the other sentences) ... The ship sank.
@fuggirls Oh dear God, Please *please* let's not diss THAT WOMAN. Donna Tripp-yes. ML, no
Twitter has taught me this: mothers who are famous cherish each moment with their delightful children. I'm happy for them.
i explained to kids why tgiFridays in an airport is fine- In union square-hells no
I release the filth of these sidewalks-dogshit/vomit/piss/butts/goobers &litter in favor of the heaven that is this William Fitzsommons song
My teen son has a mannish body. I paused uncertain what to add ... ... And now I'm weeping.
It's like I'm in a twilight zone. Just misread a massive billboard for vitamin water. Thought 'revive' was REWRITE
Is it me, or do #TheFooFighters sound like Rush?
RLSoo Rebecca Land Soodak
I think it's best for all involved if I wear my comfy jeans
Gonna shake things up this Passover & hide the QADAFFI-KOMMEN ... & when the kids try to sell it back we'll gang-rape em @SarahKSilverman
If one pays 100$/ticket 4 UNTREATED bipolar/addict/woman-abusing/unmedicated/narcissist-h/she might b part of the problem @Justin_Stangel
I just read NYT article on Cathie Black chancellor ousting-I can't BELIEVE they didnt mention her YouTube Friday vid. Fucking dinosaurs.
The Unbearable Lengthiness of Being in the Movie Theater#unnecessarysequels
A Tale of Two Sex in the Cities #unnecessarysequels
The Pursuit of Happy Gilmore #unnecessarysequels
Im pretty sure Epsom salt was my Bubby's aphrodisiac (And now I feel a sense of unresolved loss tinged with nausea.)
@Sirenland @mcnallyjackson Like a wise, aging caterpillar keeping his nose company. Nice, in these uncertain times.
Ass-Over #PassoverPorn &/or #sheenshow
Skank Bone #PassoverPorn
The laying of the first-born son #PassoverPorn
Bitter Whores #PassoverPorn
Next Year In ... Jerlissa #PassoverPorn

The Parting of Her Red C #PassoverPorn
My Burning Bush #PassoverPorn
I'm concerned there might be a gefilte-fish smack-down involving my mother & Aunt. I'm not gonna lie-I'm frightened. #Passover

Wait, did CathieBlack get canned because of that Friday song?
Damn-I hate being wrong.
I would really like to see Sheldon and Blossom do the nah-nah. Like on one of those adult channels. #TheBiggestBang#CantTakeItMuchLonger
I am dubious that these brownies will do much for Japan, but I'm a team player.
Two Independent bookstores on UES are out of Bossypants and admit to only buying a few copies. This reflects a disconnect, I think.
@GCPeditor @mitch_hoffman @grandcentralpub Good. Because ALL editors need and deserve an assistant! (Seriously)
@bnreviewer Yeah, that's 2012.
@bnreviewer Mine's coming! Henny On the Couch-Spring 2013 GrandCentral It's Bright LightsBig City from an UES feminist/artist's persp. kinda
the norm for acceptable table switching varies In LA-once, maybe-and only if you have a penis. In NYC? Who gives a shit?
After sitting a table away from Duchovny I'm left w/ this: our not fucking might be due to more than proximity. Possibly.