I am not a New Year’s Resolution kind of person. Like most people who work hard at being unique—I tend to avoid activities that appeal to the masses. See also—The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and necklaces with charms that represent one’s children.
Also, I’ve given up my share of bad habits, so for me, any day I’m not smoking crack* is considered a good day. And by good day, I mean, a day where I don’t have to vow to eat more roughage or increase my exercise.
You see, I used to spend much time, energy, and $ trying to improve myself. I guess I got to a point where acceptance and self-love became my goal. Varicose veins? Bring ‘em on. Bitchy to my husband? Who isn’t. I mean, I consider the trade off with aging is, I give up perky as a personal adjective, but I gain composure. The kind of poise that comes when one knows and accepts one’s self. Even the messy parts.
Said another way, I fear, for me, it’s a slippery slope from promises for self-improvement to self-flagellation; thus, I choose—take me as I am. A hot-tempered, impulsive, Oreo eating, inconsistent exerciser, who can’t fold fitted sheets for shit … You get the picture.
Although—if I were to make PRETEND resolutions … hypothetically speaking, my list would probably look like this:
Cook more healthful meals for Mitchell and the kids
When I feel over-stimulated by the demands of certain humans, replace that yelling strategy I’ve honed so well, with an entirely different approach. Like deep breaths. Or reason.
Read more to my girls, while they’ll still let me.
Turn off the TV for certain humans, since it appears that they lack the ability to do so, which is actually sort of sad.
Engage in anonymous acts of kindness.
Blog more than 6/year.
Stay away from online scrabble.
Eat more roughage.
Read minimum of 7 hours/week
Call my father more often.
Ditto for sister.
Stop bossing certain humans. Even when he’s driving.
Restraint or pen, tongue and SEND.
Take less cabs.
Remember how grateful I am.
Oh yeah, and write every day
In closing, I will say two things: I wish you and yours a very Happy New Year and—*I never smoked crack.