WHERE THE WILD THINGS GROW

Almost three years ago, my oldest son became a Bar Mitzvah. When I set out to write a toast, I realized none of my words felt relevant to the relationship I had with him at the time. Everything felt contrived. Too much telling--not enough showing. So I borrowed the words of a writer we both admired. Here is my 'toast'. (I found it tucked in the book this morning--and wept.) THE NIGHT RUBIN WORE HIS WOLF SUIT AND MADE MISCHIEF OF ONE KIND AND ANOTHER HIS MOTHER CALLED HIM 'WILD THING1' AND RUBIN SAID 'I'LL EAT YOU UP1' SO HE WAS SENT TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT EATING ANYTHING. THAT VERY NIGHT HE WENT ON FACEBOOK AND CHATTED AND CHATTED UNTIL FABRY, SUGARMAN AND YANG HAD TO DO THEIR HOMEWORD AND RUBIN SWITCHED TO FARMVILLE AND YOU TUBE. AND WASTED NIGHT AND DAY AND IN AND OUT OF WEEKS AND ALMOST OVER A YEAR TO WHERE THE WILD VIDEOS ARE AND WHEN HE CAME TO THE PLACE WHERE THE WILD VIDEOS ARE, THEY ROARED THEIR TERRIBLE 'MOTHER LOVER' ROARS AND GNASHED THEIR TERRIBLE 'I'M THE BOSS' RHYMES AND ROLLED THEIR TERRIBLE 'LAZY SUNDAY' RIFFS UNTIL RUBIN SAID, 'MY TURN!' AND POSTED HIS OWN MAGIC VIDEO. (LINKED TO SILLY VIDEO HE MADE OF HIMSELF." AND RUBIN GREW. AND GREW. AND GREW. AND LEARNED MANY THINGS AND HAD MANY ADVENTURES. AND MADE GREAT FRIENDS. AND EVEN GREAT MISTAKES. AND FOUND HIS WAY. THEN ALL AROUND FROM FAR ACROSS THE WORLD TO THE UPPER EAST SIDE, HE WANTED GOOD THINGS TO EAT SO HE CALLED HIS MOM. 'LET'S MEET,' HE SAID. 'AT E.A.T. ON MADISON.' AND SHE SAID, 'OH PLEASE LET'S GO, WE'LL PAY TOO MUCH, I LOVE YOU SO!' AND RUBIN SAID, 'I KNOW.' SO HE SAILED BACK OVER A YEAR AND IN AND OUT OF WEEKS AND THROUGH A DAY AND INTO A CORNER TABLE OF THE VERY TRENDY ROOM WHERE IS HIS VERY OWN MOM WAS WAITING FOR HIM. AND IT WAS MAD FUN. MAZEL TOV, RUBE. I LOVE YOU.